Your Wedding Day: Let's Talk About Family Formal Portraits...
Ever since I got into wedding photography, I’ve always been told that the very most stressful part of the day would be family formal portraits. I think that is simply because, from a couple’s perspective, you’re trying to round up family members and hope everyone cooperates, and as a photographer, you’re trying to photograph a whole group of people that you’ve mostly never met before and are trying to keep them happy before they head to the reception! It can definitely be a little stressful, but if both the couple and photographer prepare, it really can go more smoothly than expected!
Here are 5 tips that I’ve learned through the years and shooting weddings that help make family formal portraits run smoothly!
1. Ask your officiant to announce to your family to stay seated at the ceremony— or tell the family ahead of time that they need to stay for formals.
Half of the battle with family portraits is making sure that the family members that need to be photographed stay put in one area so that they can be found easily. I’ve definitely had to wait to get things rolling because a family member wandered towards the reception or cocktail hour area before we could get photos started. If this happens, that can push the timeline and lessen the time available for couples’ portraits before the reception or delay dinner.
To avoid this, I often recommend that couples ask their officiant to announce to family members to stay seated after the recessional when the couple and the bridal party leaves. Even if a photographer picks a different spot to take family formals than the altar/arch, it’s easier if people are still seated so the photographer can direct them to the new spot. You can also notify your family members of the plan ahead of time so that they know where to go after the ceremony.
2. Ask a bridal party member or sibling that knows the family well to help round up the family and help the photographer in moving members.
Typically on a wedding day, the photographer has just met the family and is still getting to know names as they go throughout the day! It’s often super helpful (but not mandatory) if there is a close family friend, bridal party member, or sibling— basically, anyone who knows both families inside and out— that can help aid the photographer in identifying family members when asked to come up for portraits. Of course, we always try our best to figure out who is who (and I do ask for names and how they’re related to you on the questionnaire), but we can never assume family titles or positions and it definitely helps us stay out of awkward situations!
3. Only stick to immediate family groupings after the ceremony— let other groupings happen at the reception.
I know that extended family members, such as aunts, uncles, cousins, etc, can often be very close members of your family, but I usually recommend to couples to stick to their immediate families (if possible) for their family formal list. To me, this would be parents, grandparents, and siblings on both sides. Keeping this list brief to immediate family helps you guys get to bridal party or couples’ portraits faster, and thus to the reception faster.
Often, if you include extended family, random people will start asking for photos with the couple and it can quickly spiral out of control. I often recommend that if there are any aunts, uncles, college friends, cousins, co-workers etc, that you’d like to get a photo with to wait to grab that photo until the reception where things are more relaxed and we have more time to grab those other combinations. I also do understand that not every family is the same and sometimes aunts or uncles (or whoever) could be as close as a mother or father in certain family situations. If that’s the case, just make sure to tell your photographer of this special case so that we can include them and make arrangements!
4. Always start big and then shave off for groupings— always take care of grandparents or those who have mobility issues first.
Before the wedding day, I always send out a questionnaire that helps my couples tell me what family combinations they’d like to have taken after the ceremony at formals time. I then make a list that flows so that I can check it off as I go on the day! I also write down the names of family members so that I can call them by name as I create groupings. When I create this list, I always start big and shave off to smaller groups. For example, I start with the couple plus both of their immediate families. Then, I break it off to just one side… do the full group (parents, grandparents, and siblings) and then shave it down to just parents, and just siblings, etc. If we are waiting on family members, I have also gone backward and completed the small groupings first and build up to the full group.
If there is anyone with mobility issues (usually grandparents), I try to get theirs taken care of first so that they can have a seat and relax.
Family formal list example:
Couple + both immediate families (parents, grandparents, siblings)
Couple + bride’s immediate family (bride’s parents, grandparents, siblings)
Couple + Bride’s grandparents
Bride + Bride’s grandparents
Bride + bride’s parents + siblings
Bride + bride’s parents
Bride + bride’s siblings (if more than one)
Bride + mother
Bride + father
Bride + brother or sister
Then repeat for the other side!
5. Communicate to the photographer if there are any special circumstances to be aware of.
Like I said earlier, not every family is the same! There are often separations/divorces, medical needs, and unfortunately, deaths, that we need to be aware and sensitive of so that we can plan accordingly. If you do have separated families, just let your photographer know, because the list will look very different than the example above! We also need to make sure that parents are on good talking terms or not, in case we put them next to each other in the photo. If we know ahead of time of any special circumstances, we can do our best to avoid creating any family drama or tense situations and keep things running smoothly! As much as we try to get to know you and your family, each family is different and we can’t ever predict or read minds!
Bonus tip! Breathe through it and have fun! Let the photographer take care of the list and just enjoy the wedding day!
Family photos may not always seem to be the most fun or creative photos, but I promise that you’ll love having them! I have loved printing mine and giving them as gifts on Mother’s Day and for Christmas presents. It’s a great way to remember the family who attended and help celebrate your big day!
I know that it can get stressful and you might want to jump in and help, but just sit back, let the photographer (and the close friend/bridal party member/sibling that we talked about earlier) take care of the family list, and enjoy the wedding day! No matter what, your families are coming together and celebrating and that should be documented!
